Holidays are often painted as a season of joy and love. But for those who of us who were or are “unwanted,” the black sheep or the scapegoat, this time of year can remind us that we are different. They can be a stark contrast between our realities and the idealized images and the jolly music that surrounds us.
For the unloved and the unseen, the holidays often bring feelings of aloneness and longing. We want to be loved, we want to be wanted, but we just aren’t. Watching happy people during the holidays creates a sharp ache. The commercials and movies celebrating familial bonds and festive cheer can feel alien, reminding us that we are or used to be “other,” that we exist on the periphery of what society calls "normal."
The season can also amplify the inner voice that whispers, "You are not enough”, making the holidays less a celebration and more a something to endure.
Yet, in this heaviness, we can choose life. We can endure. We can build resilience. People like us who have survived neglect or abuse often push on, not because the world always offers us comfort or recognition, but because our survival itself is a form of defiance. I learned to push on, to seek solace in the small things: the quiet of a winter morning, a kind word from a stranger, or the simple act of making it through another day. I found new friends; I built community and I lived through another Christmas season. I know you can too.
More about my book, Redeemed, A Memoir of a Stolen Childhood at www.pennylanewriter.com
Or: Redeemed: A Memoir of a Stolen Childhood: Lane, Penny: 9781647427009: Amazon.com: Books
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